The Business Only Grows To The Level You Do

When the thing that got you here starts getting in your way

I’m not entirely sure whether I’ve actually grown over the years, or I’ve just got better at hiding the bits that haven’t.

RecConnect is doing well. The Substack’s going well. There are books, a clothing side hustle, events, ideas and plenty of plans. From the outside, I probably look like I’ve got at least some of my shit together.

I haven’t. Well, not entirely.

I’ve always backed myself, sometimes probably more than I should. I’ve made a career out of doing things differently, questioning how things are done and occasionally doing the exact opposite of what more sensible people have suggested.

And, to be fair, quite a lot of the time it’s worked.

But there’s a problem with being right often enough to trust your gut.

You start trusting your gut.

And sometimes your gut is wrong.

That’s the bit I’m trying to get better at. Someone challenges something I’ve done - a decision, something I’ve written, the way I’ve handled a situation - and I can still feel that little instinct to defend it. Not because I don’t respect their opinion, but because somewhere along the way, backing myself became part of who I am.

So changing my mind can occasionally feel a bit too much like doubting myself. I’m beginning to realise they’re not the same thing.

You can have conviction and still listen. You can back yourself and still change your mind. You can believe you’re right while leaving just enough room for the possibility that you’re talking crap.

I’m getting better at that last one. Slowly.

And maybe that’s what personal growth looks like when you’re running a business. Not becoming less confident or sanding down the things that made you successful in the first place, but understanding that some of your greatest strengths can become weaknesses if you never question them.

Independence can become isolation. Conviction can become stubbornness. Confidence can become ego.

I don’t want to lose any of the things that have got me this far. I just want to get better at knowing when they’re helping me - and when they’re getting in the way.

Because perhaps the business only grows to the level you do.

And apparently, I’m still a work in progress.